3篇哈佛大学优秀范文分享！附文书点评！

今天，我们给大家准备了一些历年哈佛大学录取文书中的优秀写作范例，给大家参考学习。当中的每一篇文书，申请者都通过自己的讲述方式向招生官传达了自身性格、价值观和生活与哈佛大学相符的地方。

内容篇幅较长，还请大家耐心观看。接下来，就让我们来一起看看能让招生官怦然心动的“3篇哈佛大学优秀范文”吧。

01哈佛大学新生范文

英文原文

The first word I ever spoke was my name. I was intrigued that my entire identity could be attached to and compressed into such a simple sound. I would tell everyone I met that my name meant “one,” that it made me special because it sounded like “unique.” When I learned to write, I covered sheets of paper with the letters U, N, and A. Eventually, I realized that paper was not enough—I needed to cover the world with my name, my graffiti tag.

This came to a screeching halt in kindergarten. One day in music class, I scratched UNA into the piano’s wood. Everyone was surprised that I tagged my name and not someone else’s. I didn’t want someone else to suffer for my misdeeds. I wanted to take something, to make it mine.

Kindergarten was also the year my parents signed me up for piano lessons, and every aspect of them was torture. I had to learn to read an entirely new language, stretch my fingers to fit challenging intervals, use my arms with enough force to sound chords but not topple over, grope around blindly while keeping my eyes on the music, and the brain-splitting feat of doing this with each hand separately. Hardest was the very act of sitting down to practice. The physical challenges were more or less surmountable, but tackling them felt lonely and pointless.

I only fell in love with music when I found myself in a sweaty church on the Upper West Side—my first chamber music concert, the final event of a two-week camp the summer before sixth grade. I was nervous. My group, playing a Shostakovich prelude, was the youngest, so we went first. My legs shook uncontrollably before, during, and after I played. I nearly became sick afterward from shame and relief. I was so disappointed that I thought I could never face my new music friends again. From the front row, I plotted my escape route for when the concert finished. But I didn’t run. I watched the whole concert. I watched the big kids breathe in unison, occupying the same disconnected body. I fell in love with music through the way they belonged to each other, the way they saw each other without even looking. I stuck with that chamber camp. In the twenty chamber groups that have made up my last six years, I’ve performed in six-inch heels and nearly fallen off-stage during my bow. I’ve performed in sneakers and a sweatshirt, on pianos with half the keys broken and the other half wildly out of tune, in subway stations, nursing homes, international orchestras, Carnegie Hall, and on Zoom.

Chamber music doesn’t work when everyone aims to be a star; it works when everyone lets everyone else shine through. It’s more fun that way. A musical notation I rarely saw before playing chamber music is “unacorda,” which says to put the soft pedal down and play on only “one string,” usually to highlight another player’s solo. I don’t need to be the loudest to breathe in unison with my friends, to create something beautiful. In that moment, I’m not just Una, I’m the pianist in the Dohnanyi sextet.

I started to love music only when I realized it doesn’t belong to me. I had to stop trying to make piano my own and take pleasure in sharing it. I learned that the rests in my part were as meaningful as the notes; that although my name means “one,” I’d rather not be the “only.” My favorite compliment I’ve received was that I made an audience member feel like they were sitting onstage next to me. This, to me, is the essence of chamber music. To pull your audience onto the stage, trusting your group isn’t enough—you have to fuse together, to forget you exist. For a few minutes, you have to surrender your name.

中文翻译

我说的第一个词就是我的名字。我很好奇，我的整个身份可以附着在一个如此简单的声音上，并被压缩成这样。我会告诉我遇到的每一个人，我的名字意味着 “一”，它让我与众不同，因为它听起来像 “独一无二”。当我学会写字时，我在纸上写满了字母 U、N 和 A。最后，我意识到光靠纸是不够的，我需要用我的名字、我的涂鸦标签来覆盖整个世界。

这一切在幼儿园戛然而止。有一天上音乐课，我在钢琴的木头上划了 UNA。大家都很惊讶，因为我在上面涂的是自己的名字，而不是别人的。我不想让别人为我的错误行为受苦。我想拿走一些东西，把它变成我的。

幼儿园也是父母为我报名学钢琴的一年，学钢琴的方方面面对我来说都是一种折磨。我必须学会阅读一门全新的语言，伸展手指以适应具有挑战性的音程，用足够的力量弹出和弦但又不至于摔倒，一边盲目地摸索，一边把眼睛盯在乐谱上，而且每只手都要分别完成这些耗费脑力的壮举。最难的是坐下来练习。身体上的挑战或多或少都能克服，但应对这些挑战却感到孤独和无意义。

我是在上西区一个汗流浃背的教堂里才爱上音乐的--我的第一场室内乐音乐会，是六年级暑假前两周夏令营的最后一场活动。我当时很紧张。我所在的小组演奏的是肖斯塔科维奇前奏曲，年龄最小，所以我们先上。在演奏前、演奏中和演奏后，我的双腿都不由自主地颤抖起来。之后，我因羞愧和解脱而差点生病。我失望极了，以为再也无法面对我的新乐友了。在前排，我计划着音乐会结束后的逃跑路线。但我没有逃跑。我看完了整场音乐会。我看着大孩子们齐声呼吸，占据着同一个互不相连的身体。我爱上了音乐，因为他们属于彼此，他们不经意间就看到了彼此。我坚持参加了室内乐训练营。在过去六年的二十个室内乐团中，我曾穿着六英寸的高跟鞋演出，在鞠躬时差点摔下舞台。在地铁站、养老院、国际交响乐团、卡内基音乐厅和 Zoom 上，我穿着运动鞋和运动衫，在一半琴键坏掉、另一半严重走音的钢琴上表演。

当我意识到音乐并不属于我时，我才开始爱上音乐。我不得不停止试图把钢琴变成我自己的，而是乐于分享它。我明白了，我的休止符和音符一样有意义；虽然我的名字意味着 “一”，但我不愿成为 “唯一”。我收到的最喜欢的赞美是，我让一位观众觉得他们就坐在我旁边的舞台上。对我来说，这就是室内乐的精髓。要把观众拉到舞台上，仅仅相信你的团队是不够的--你必须融合在一起，忘记自己的存在。在这几分钟里，你必须放弃自己的名字。

Professional Review

📄#哈佛点评

乌娜作为音乐家的个人成长历程使这篇文章得以成功。她通过对自己名字的有力而自省的陈述，立即吸引了读者的注意力。年少时就想用自己的名字和涂鸦作为自我表达的一种形式来覆盖整个世界，这为文章增添了好奇和个性的元素。乌娜认识到了潜在的后果，并最终愿意承担责任，这体现了她的正直和自知之明。

一篇优秀的文章都包含着脆弱的一面。尤娜在描述弹钢琴过程中遇到的生理和心理困难以及孤独感和无意义感时，表现出了她的脆弱。当乌娜描述她在室内乐音乐会上的转变经历时，这篇文章真正闪亮登场。她的坦诚和对音乐将人与人联系起来的力量的深刻认识确实令人感动。

乌娜的文章通过她在各种场合的不同表演，进一步展示了她对音乐的执着。她了解室内乐的合作性质，并愿意让其他人也参与进来，这表明了乌娜作为音乐家的成长，以及她对团队合作所能创造的美感的欣赏。

在文章的最后，乌娜认识到，在音乐中创造美好的事物并不需要最响亮或最耀眼的明星。

乌娜在文章的最后认识到，在音乐中创造美好的事物并不需要最响亮或最耀眼的明星。她接受了与朋友们同呼吸共命运的理念，并在让他人发光发热中找到了快乐。这一见解反映了她作为音乐家的成长，以及她对合作和分享经验重要性的理解。

总之，这篇文章成功地传达了乌娜的个人心路历程、她对音乐的热爱，以及她对合作和无私奉献的变革力量的理解。叙事结构、生动的描述、脆弱的内心、反思的语气，以及读者感官和反思语气的融入，使尤娜的文章引人入胜、影响深远、令人难忘。

2024 年 9月27日 12:00

我：非常受益！

02哈佛大学新生范文

英文原文

I’ve always been a storyteller, but I’ve only been an alleged fish killer since age five. As a child, my head was so filled up with stories that I might have forgotten to feed Bubbles the class pet just one time too often. Once I pulverized an entire pencil, because I was daydreaming instead of taking it out of the sharpener.

More than anything else, I became an obsessive list-maker. I memorized and wrote down long lists of my stuffed animals, cities around the world, and my favorite historical time periods. I created itineraries and packing lists for my Build-A-Bears, then arranged them in rows on a pretend airplane. I drew family trees for a made-up family during the Industrial Revolution. I wrote lists until the spine of my notebook cracked under the weight of graphite.

For a long time, I thought this was something that I alone did, and that I did alone. Lying on the floor of my bedroom, I spun fantastical stories of mundane events. Each story opened and closed in my head, untold and unsung. Years later, though—to my amazement—I discovered other people who were interested in the same things I was. Wandering into fanfiction websites and online forums, I was welcomed into a vibrant community of writers—serious, silly, passionate people who wrote hundreds of thousands of words analyzing character dynamics and exploring endless plot threads. When I finally started posting my own thoughts, I didn’t feel like I was taking a risk or venturing into new territory. I had been speaking these words to myself since I was five, preparing myself to finally shout them into the real world. And people responded.

Spurred on by this excitement, I started writing stories for other people to read. I had fallen in love with the community writing had given me, and with writing itself. I wanted to contribute my own small piece to a world much bigger than me. I shouted my stories up to the WiFi signals that caught and carried them, waiting to be found by someone else writing lists in her bedroom alone.

In high school, I also found joy in editing. I loved analyzing, polishing, and curating my classmates’ short stories, poems, and artwork to make them shine for my school’s literary magazine. I spent hours with other editors, passionately arguing the merits and weaknesses of dozens of writing pieces. Editing the school newspaper, meanwhile, became a way to spotlight members of the school community, from profiling new staff and faculty to polling the student body about the stigma surrounding menstruation.

I’ve now had my poems published in a national literary journal and have joined the editorial staff of an international literary magazine for teens. I feel like I’m discovering my power, and with it my ability to create change. Last year, I founded SPEAK, a creative writing program for elementary school students. I wanted to assist younger writers so they could create their own communities. During SPEAK sessions, I taught a group of students how to draw a map of a fantasy wolf kingdom they had designed, helped a girl edit her classmate’s poem about hula hoops, and listened to a third-grader talk faster and faster as we discussed the meaning of soup in The Tale of Despereaux.

I’ve now turned SPEAK into a self-sustaining club at my school, and I’m expanding the program onto an online platform. Writing changed my life, but it only happened when I started sharing my work, putting it out there, and starting conversations—not just responding. Alone, stories used to abstract me from the outside world. Now, stories connect me to the world, creating communities instead of pulling me away from them. For too many of us, our stories are born in our heads, and they die there. I’m going to change that, for myself and for as many people as I can bring with me.

中文翻译

我一直是个讲故事的人，但从五岁起，我才被指控为杀鱼凶手。小时候，我满脑子都是故事，以至于经常忘记给班里的宠物 “泡泡 ”喂食。有一次，我把一整支铅笔都弄碎了，因为我在做白日梦，而没有把它从削铅笔机里拿出来。

最重要的是，我成了一个强迫症患者。我记住并写下了长长的清单，包括我的毛绒玩具、世界各地的城市以及我最喜欢的历史时期。我为我的 “积木熊”（Build-A-Bears）设计行程和装箱单，然后把它们排成一排放在一架假飞机上。我为工业革命时期的一个虚构家庭画了家谱。我一直在写清单，直到笔记本的脊背被石墨压裂。

长久以来，我一直以为这是我一个人的事，也是我一个人的事。躺在卧室的地板上，我把平淡无奇的事情编织成天马行空的故事。每个故事都在我的脑海中开合，不为人知，也不为人知。多年以后，我惊奇地发现，还有人和我对同样的事情感兴趣。当我在同人小说网站和在线论坛上闲逛时，我被欢迎进入一个充满活力的作家社区--他们认真、憨厚、充满热情，写下了成千上万的文字，分析人物动态，探索无尽的情节线索。当我终于开始发表自己的想法时，我并不觉得自己在冒险或涉足新领域。从五岁起，我就开始对自己说这些话，为最终在现实世界中喊出来做好准备。人们回应了我。

在这种兴奋的刺激下，我开始写故事给别人看。我爱上了写作给我带来的社区，也爱上了写作本身。我想为这个比我大得多的世界贡献自己的微薄之力。我把我的故事大声喊出来，让WiFi信号捕捉并传送它们，等待着被其他独自在卧室里写书单的人发现。

高中时，我还在编辑工作中找到了乐趣。我喜欢分析、润色和整理同学们的短篇小说、诗歌和艺术作品，让它们在学校的文学杂志上大放异彩。我和其他编辑一起，花了好几个小时热烈讨论几十篇文章的优缺点。与此同时，编辑校报也成了我聚焦学校社区成员的一种方式，从介绍新的教职员工，到调查学生对月经的成见。

现在，我的诗作已在国家级文学期刊上发表，并加入了一家国际青少年文学杂志的编辑部。我感觉自己正在发现自己的力量，以及创造改变的能力。去年，我创办了一个面向小学生的创意写作项目 SPEAK。我想帮助年轻的作家，让他们能够创建自己的社区。在 SPEAK 课程中，我教一群学生如何绘制他们设计的幻想狼王国的地图，帮助一个女孩修改她同学关于呼啦圈的诗歌，听一个三年级学生在我们讨论《德佩罗的故事》中汤的含义时越说越快。

现在，我已经把 SPEAK 变成了我所在学校的一个自负盈亏的俱乐部，而且我正在把这个项目扩展到一个网络平台上。写作改变了我的生活，但这只是在我开始分享我的作品、把它公之于众、开始对话--而不仅仅是回应--时才发生的。以前，我一个人的时候，故事让我与外界隔绝。现在，故事把我与世界联系在一起，创造了社区，而不是把我从社区中拉出来。对我们很多人来说，我们的故事生于脑中，死于脑中。我要改变这种状况，为我自己，也为我能带来的更多人。

Professional Review

📄#哈佛点评

我喜欢这篇文章！读完第一句，我就想读下去。第三句结束时，我已经迫不及待地想认识这位学生了！

但最重要的是，这篇文章有一条叙述成长的主线。这篇文章的成功之处在于，我们不仅能了解到他们与生俱来的好奇心和想象力，还能感受到他们的个人成长。我们看到学生变得更加自信，并在更大的社会中找到了自己的位置。流行文化和历史典故是一个很好的点缀，使文章人性化，同时又具有很强的可读性。但最重要的是有一条成长的叙事主线。学生在书中偶尔会提到一些成就，这些成就是学生成长的里程碑，但这些成就并不像一份简历或刻意罗列的清单......在结尾处，我们可以感受到他们的创作过程，以及故事在他们生活中的重要性。

好奇心、创造力、关心他人......以及个人成长意识。很多精彩的主题和个人特质让读者不仅喜欢这个学生，还想认识他们。

我：这条主线讲述得确实很棒。

03哈佛大学新生范文

英文原文

It's 8AM. Dew blankets the grass under my bare feet as my small hands grasp the metal of the backyard fence. I lift my heels, summoning enormous power in my tiny lungs as I blare out a daily wake-up call: ""GIRLS!"" Waiting with anticipation for those familiar faces to emerge from their homes, my mind bursts with ideas eager for exploration.

Years later, at the corner of our yards, gates magically appeared; an open invitation connecting the backyards of four mismatched homes. The birth of the ""Four Corners"" inevitably developed into lifelong friendships and became the North Star in the lives of absolute strangers who have become family. As parents bonded at the gates, discussing everything from diapers to first dates, the kids took advantage of overlooked bedtimes and late night movies. Today, I launch into adulthood with the imagination, leadership, and confidence born from adolescent adventures.

Behind corner #1 lived the Irish neighbors, where I embarked on a culinary exploration of corned beef and cabbage served during the annual St. Patty's celebrations. My taste buds awakened with the novelty of a peculiar dish that seemed to dismiss the health hazards of sodium chloride, an element that conjures up mental images of chemistry experiments. With U2 playing on the speaker, and parents enjoying a pint of Guinness, adolescents discussed inventions that could lead us to a pot of gold; from apps that would revolutionize the music industry, to building a keg cooler from a rubber trash can (and yes, we actually tried that). Endless playtime and conversations fueled the gene of curiosity which molded my creative thinking and imagination.

Behind corner #2, vibrant Italians cheered on the creation of zip lines and obstacle courses, which taught me a thing or two about Newton's Laws of Motion. Body aches from brutal stops provided lessons in physics that prompted modifications. This inventive spirit during backyard projects required testing, redesigning, and rebuilding. I wanted to conquer the yard and use every square inch of it. My swimming pool hosted ""Olympic Games"", where the makeshift springboard I built would have made Michael Phelps proud. I dove into projects, disregarding smashed fingers and small fires. Through persistence and sheer will, repeated failures became a source of progress for all to enjoy. These lessons served me well when diving into the Odyssey of the Mind Competitions.

Corners #3 and #4, where Cuban roots run deep, entertained countless activities opening a world of learning and exploration. 1AM backyard stargazing encouraged my curiosity; the night sky like a blank slate, ready to be lit up with discovery. Through the eye of the telescope, I traced stars that were millions of miles away, yet filled my tent like fairy lights. Questions merged in a combinatorial explosion that only led to more questions. Could a black hole really cause spaghettification? Do the whispered echoes of dead stars give a clue to how old our universe truly is? Years later, at the FPL Energy, Power, and Sustainability Lab, conversations about smart grids, electric vehicles, and a possible colonization of the moon would take me back to that backyard camping, propelling my desire for exploration.

In my little pocket of the world, I embrace the unexpected coincidence that struck 20 years ago, when four families collided at the same exact moment in space and time. My Four Corners family, with their steadfast presence and guidance, cultivated love, maturity, risk-taking, and teamwork. Through my adventures, I became a dreamer, an inventor, an innovator, and a leader. Now, fostering my love for learning, spirit of giving back, and drive for success, I seek new adventures. Just as I walked through the magical gates of my beloved Four Corners, I will now walk through transformational thresholds to continue on a journey that began as a girl, at a fence, with a heart full of hope and a head full of possibilities.

中文翻译

现在是早上8点。我的小手紧紧抓住后院栅栏的金属片，露水覆盖了我脚下的草地。我抬起脚跟，用我的小肺鼓起巨大的力量，大声喊出每天的起床号：“女孩们！” 我满怀期待地等待着那些熟悉的面孔从家里走出来，脑海里迸发出无数渴望探索的想法。

几年后，在我们院子的拐角处，大门神奇地出现了；一个开放式的邀请函，连接了四家错落有致的后院。四角 "的诞生不可避免地发展成为终生的友谊，并成为绝对陌生的人生活中的北极星，而这些人已经成为家人。父母们在大门口拉家常，讨论从尿布到第一次约会的各种问题，孩子们则利用被忽视的就寝时间和深夜电影。如今，我带着青春期冒险所产生的想象力、领导力和自信心步入成年。

1号街角后面住着爱尔兰邻居，每年圣帕蒂节期间，我都会去那里品尝腌牛肉和卷心菜。我的味蕾被这道奇特的菜肴唤醒了，它似乎摒弃了氯化钠对健康的危害，而氯化钠是一种让人联想到化学实验的元素。扬声器里播放着 U2 的音乐，父母们品尝着健力士啤酒，青少年们讨论着能让我们淘到金子的发明；从能彻底改变音乐产业的应用程序，到用橡胶垃圾桶做成的小桶冷却器（是的，我们真的试过）。无休止的玩耍和交谈激发了我的好奇心，也塑造了我的创造性思维和想象力。

在2号街角后方，充满活力的意大利人欢呼着滑索和障碍赛的诞生，这让我了解了牛顿运动定律。我还从野蛮停车造成的身体疼痛中学到了一些物理知识，并因此进行了改装。在后院项目中，这种创新精神需要测试、重新设计和重建。我想征服院子，充分利用每一寸土地。我的游泳池曾举办过 “奥林匹克运动会”，我搭建的临时跳板会让迈克尔-菲尔普斯引以为豪。我不顾砸伤手指和小火，一头扎进项目中。通过坚持不懈的努力和坚定的意志，屡次失败成为我取得进步的源泉。当我参加奥德赛智力竞赛时，这些经验让我受益匪浅。

3号街角和4号街角是古巴人扎根的地方，这里有数不清的活动，开启了一个学习和探索的世界。凌晨一点的后院观星活动激发了我的好奇心；夜空就像一块白板，随时都能被发现点亮。透过天文望远镜的眼睛，我追寻着数百万英里之外的星星，但它们却像仙女点灯一样布满了我的帐篷。问题在组合爆炸中融合，而这只会引出更多的问题。黑洞真的会导致星体分裂吗？死亡恒星的低语回声是否为我们宇宙的真实年龄提供了线索？多年以后，在 FPL 能源、电力和可持续发展实验室，关于智能电网、电动汽车和可能的月球殖民地的谈话又把我带回了那次后院露营，激发了我的探索欲望。

在我的小天地里，我拥抱着20年前的意外巧合，四个家庭在时空的同一时刻碰撞在一起。我的 “四角之家”，在他们坚定的陪伴和指导下，培养了爱、成熟、冒险精神和团队精神。通过冒险，我成为了梦想家、发明家、创新者和领导者。现在，我培养自己对学习的热爱、回馈社会的精神和追求成功的动力，寻求新的冒险。就像我走过我所热爱的四角镇的神奇大门一样，我现在将走过变革的门槛，继续我的旅程。

Professional Review

📄#哈佛点评

玛丽娜的文章很好地解决了许多大学申请者的担忧：如果你没有经历过剧烈的动荡或克服了不可思议的困难，你就没有什么有趣的东西可写。玛丽娜的这篇文章以一个充满朋友的社区中的快乐童年为背景，通过细节描述和感性语言与读者建立了联系，让不了解她的人也能对塑造她的世界有一个初步的了解。

这篇文章最精彩的地方之一是玛丽娜身临其境的叙述，吸引了读者的五种感官：我们可以和她一起感受湿漉漉、带刺的草坪，“露水覆盖了我赤脚下的草地”；听到年轻的玛丽娜的声音，“在我的小肺里吸入巨大的力量，我每天都要大声喊起床号”；闻到和尝到咸卷心菜的味道，“似乎否定了氯化钠对健康的危害”；看到遥远的星星，“像童话灯一样洒满我的帐篷”。这些语言的特殊性确保了这篇文章读起来不会显得泛泛而谈--很明显，只有玛丽娜（或许是她后院的一位朋友）才能写出这篇特殊的文章。

玛丽娜的作品还很好地实现了申请文书的另一个目标：利用生活中的小事件来更广泛地展示你这个人的某些核心方面，展示你深信不疑的信念、人生哲学的形成或已成为一种决定性品质的个性特征。在这个案例中，玛丽娜展示了她的后院探险如何彰显了她对科学、技术和工程学的热爱，这在她的申请中也有所体现。烹饪课变成了 “化学实验”，搭建滑索变成了 “牛顿运动定律 ”课程，而对星空的哲学思考则是在 “FPL 能源、电力和可持续发展实验室 ”实习的前奏，对话内容包括智能电网、电动汽车和可能的月球殖民。这种成功的拓展使玛丽娜既可以断言她的学术热情根深蒂固，又可以断言她已经将年轻时的热情转化为重要而有意义的课外活动。

玛丽娜的论文很好地解决了许多大学申请者的一个担忧：如果你没有经历过剧烈的动荡或克服了不可思议的困难，你就没有什么有趣的东西可写。

玛丽娜本可以避免一些陷阱。一个是刻板印象的危险：将爱尔兰家庭与咸牛肉、圣帕特里克节、U2、健力士酒和金罐联系起来，有可能听起来对文化不敏感或轻蔑，尤其是其他家庭都没有这些陈词滥调。另一个陷阱是使用过多的修饰词，如形容词和副词，有时会使散文听起来不真实。在这里，第一句中的每个名词都配有一个形容词，每个动词都是较常用名词的一个较少使用的同义词，这可能会让人觉得文过饰非。

我：这篇文书还真不错！

由于篇幅限制，本文先跟大家分享3篇哈佛大学的优秀范文。