文书是留学申请中非常重要的一环，哈佛大学每年会在官网公布一些优秀文书的范例，并附上专业的点评。本文中整理了一篇文书的原文和点评，供大家参考～
文书原文
I was in love with the way the dainty pink mouse glided across the stage, her tutu twirling as she pirouetted and her rose-colored bow following the motion of her outstretched arms with every grand jeté.
我爱上了那只优雅的粉色老鼠在舞台上滑动的样子，她的芭蕾舞裙随着她的旋转而旋转，她的玫瑰色的蝴蝶结随着她张开的双臂的动作而舞动。
I had always dreamed I would dance, and Angelina Ballerina made it seem so easy. There was something so freeing about the way she wove her body into the delicate threads of the Sugar Plum Fairy’s song each time she performed an arabesque. I longed for my whole being to melt into the magical melodies of music; I longed to enchant the world with my own stories; and I longed for the smile that glimmered on every dancer’s face.
我一直梦想着跳舞，而安吉丽娜·芭蕾舞女演员让这一切变得如此简单。每次表演阿拉贝斯克时，她都把自己的身体织进糖梅仙女歌曲的细丝中，有种自由的感觉。我渴望我的整个生命融入音乐的神奇旋律中；我渴望用我自己的故事来使世界着迷；我渴望看到每个舞者脸上闪烁的笑容。
At recess, my friends and I would improvise dances. But while they seemed well on their way to achieving ballerina status, my figure eights were more like zeroes and every attempt at spinning around left me feeling dizzy. Sometimes, I even ran over my friends’ toes. How could I share my stories with others if I managed to injure them with my wheelchair before the story even began?
课间休息时，我和朋友们会即兴跳舞。不过，虽然她们看起来正朝着芭蕾舞演员的身份迈进，但我的8字形身材更像是0，每次旋转的尝试都让我感到头晕。有时，我甚至跑到我的朋友的脚趾。如果我在故事开始之前就用轮椅弄伤了他们，我怎么能和他们分享我的故事呢？
I then tried piano, but my fingers stumbled across the keys in an uncoordinated staccato tap dance of sorts. I tried art, but the clumsiness of my brush left the canvas a colorful mess. I tried the recorder, but had Angelina existed in real life, my rendition of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” would have frozen her in midair, with flute-like screeches tumbling through the air before ending in an awkward split and shattering the gossamer world the Sugar Plum Fairy had worked so hard to build.
然后我试着弹钢琴，但我的手指在琴键上磕磕绊绊地跳着一种不协调的断断续续的踢踏舞。我试着画画，但我的画笔笨拙，把画布弄得乱七八糟。我试着用录音机录音，但如果安吉利娜真的存在于现实生活中，我演唱的《玛丽有只小羊羔》（Mary had a Little Lamb）会把她困在半空中，伴着笛子般的尖叫在空中翻滚，最后以一声尴尬的分裂结束，粉碎了糖梅仙女辛辛苦苦打造的游丝般的世界。
For as long as I could remember, I’d also been fascinated by words, but I’d never explored writing until one day in fourth grade, the school librarian announced a poetry contest. That night, as I tried to sleep, ideas scampered through my head like Nutcracker mice awakening a sleeping Clara to a mystical new world. By morning, I had choreographed the mice to tell a winning story in verse about all the marvelous outer space factoids I knew.
从我记事起，我就对文字着迷，但我从未探索过写作，直到四年级的一天，学校图书管理员宣布要举办诗歌比赛。那天晚上，当我试图入睡时，一些想法在我的脑海里窜来窜去，就像《胡桃夹子》里的老鼠把熟睡的克拉拉唤醒到一个神秘的新世界一样。到了早上，我已经编排好了让老鼠们用诗歌讲述我所知道的所有奇妙的外太空事实的获奖故事。
Now, my pencil pirouettes perfect O’s on paper amidst sagas of doting mothers and evanescent lovers. The tip of my pen stipples the lines of my notebook with the tale of a father’s grief, like a ballerina tiptoeing en pointe; as the man finds solace in nature, the ink flows gracefully, and for a moment, it leaps off the page, as if reaching out to the heavens to embrace his daughter’s soul. Late at night, my fingers tap dance across the keys of my laptop, tap tap tapping an article about the latest breakthrough in cancer research—maybe LDCT scans or aneuploidy-targeted therapy could have saved the daughter’s life; a Spanish poem about the beauty of unspoken moments; and the story of a girl in a wheelchair who learned how to dance.
现在，我的铅笔在纸上旋转着完美的O，在溺爱的母亲和转瞬即逝的情人的传奇故事中。我的笔尖在笔记本的线条上点缀着一个父亲的悲伤故事，就像芭蕾舞者踮着脚尖；当这个男人在大自然中找到安慰时，墨水优雅地流淌，有一刻，它跳出了页面，仿佛伸向天堂，拥抱他女儿的灵魂。深夜，我的手指在笔记本电脑的键盘上跳着舞，敲着敲着一篇关于癌症研究最新突破的文章——也许LDCT扫描或非整倍体靶向治疗可以挽救女儿的生命；一首关于未言说时刻之美的西班牙诗；还有一个坐轮椅的女孩学会跳舞的故事。
As the world sleeps, I lose myself in the cathartic cadences of fresh ink, bursting with stories to be told and melting into parched paper. I cobble together phrases until they spring off my tongue, as if the Sugar Plum Fairy herself has transformed the staccato rumblings of my brain into something legato and sweet. I weave my heart, my soul, my very being into my words as I read them out loud, until they become almost like a chant. With every rehearsal, I search for the perfect finale to complete my creation. When I finally find it, eyes dry with midnight-induced euphoria, I remember that night so many years ago when I discovered the magic of writing, and smile.
当世界沉睡时，我迷失在新墨水的宣泄节奏中，迸发出要讲的故事，融化成焦纸。我胡乱拼凑词句，直到它们从我的嘴里蹦出来，就好像糖梅仙女自己把我脑子里断断续续的隆隆声变成了连音和甜蜜的东西。当我大声朗读时，我把我的心、我的灵魂、我的存在融入到我的话语中，直到它们几乎像一首圣歌。每次排练，我都在寻找完美的结局来完成我的创作。当我终于找到它的时候，双眼因午夜带来的兴奋而干涩，我想起许多年前的那个夜晚，当我发现写作的魔力时，我微笑了。
I may not dance across the stage like Angelina Ballerina, but I can dance across the page.
我可能不会像安吉丽娜·芭蕾舞女那样在舞台上跳舞，但我可以在书页上跳舞。
文章整理自哈佛官网，作者为Sarika
https://www.thecrimson.com/topic/sponsored-successful-harvard-essays-2024/
专业文书点评
In this essay "I, Too, Can Dance," Sarika skillfully describes how she went from wanting to dance like the made-up character Angelina Ballerina to discovering deep fulfillment and a way to express herself via writing. The essay opens with a detailed account of Sarika's early fascination in dance, which was sparked by the animated performances she saw on television. However, we learn that her first attempts to mimic these dancing routines are hampered by her physical constraints in a wheelchair, which complicates and frustrates her young goals.
在这篇题为《我也能跳舞》的文章中，萨里卡巧妙地描述了她是如何从想要像化妆角色安吉丽娜·芭蕾舞女那样跳舞，到通过写作找到深刻的满足感和表达自己的方式的。这篇文章首先详细描述了Sarika早年对舞蹈的迷恋，这种迷恋是由她在电视上看到的动画表演引发的。然而，我们了解到，她第一次尝试模仿这些舞蹈动作时，由于轮椅上的身体限制而受到阻碍，这使她年轻的目标变得复杂和沮丧。
Despite these difficulties, Sarika's story is full of tenacity and originality. Her experiences with other artistic mediums, such as painting and piano, follow a similar pattern of initial enthusiasm followed by an awareness of her physical limitations. However, these endeavors are presented as stepping stones, each one strengthening her drive and guiding her in the direction of a field in which she may genuinely succeed.
尽管有这些困难，Sarika的故事充满了坚韧和独创性。她在绘画和钢琴等其他艺术媒介上的经历，也遵循着类似的模式：最初的热情，随后意识到自己的身体局限性。然而，这些努力都是垫脚石，每一次都加强了她的动力，并引导她走向一个她可能真正成功的领域。
When Sarika discovers writing, her story takes a dramatic turn. This realization is not just a solace but also a victorious discovery of her voice. Writing takes on the role of her dance floor, where words enable her to move gracefully, telling tales and articulating concepts with the same grace and fluidity that performers display on stage. Sarika describes her writing process using dance-related imagery, such as her pencil "pirouettes" and her narratives "leaping off the page," effectively drawing comparisons between dance and writing.
当Sarika发现了写作，她的故事发生了戏剧性的转变。这一认识不仅是一种安慰，也是对她声音的胜利发现。写作扮演了她的舞池的角色，文字使她能够优雅地移动，讲述故事和表达概念，就像演员在舞台上展示的那样优雅和流畅。Sarika用与舞蹈相关的意象来描述她的写作过程，比如她的铅笔“旋转”和她的叙事“跳出页面”，有效地将舞蹈和写作进行了比较。
Sarika's profound reflection and her mature realization that artistic expression can take numerous forms are what make her essay so moving. She conveys a strong message about accepting one's abilities and exploring many avenues for artistic expression. By the time the essay comes to an end, Sarika has come to terms with her destiny and even begun to like it. She finds happiness in the rhythmic tapping of her keyboard late into the night, creating stories that have the grace and complexity of a dance that has been expertly choreographed.
Sarika深刻的思考和她对艺术表达可以有多种形式的成熟认识使她的文章如此感人。她传达了一个强烈的信息，即接受自己的能力，探索多种艺术表达途径。文章结束时，Sarika已经接受了自己的命运，甚至开始喜欢上了它。她在有节奏的键盘敲击中找到快乐，直到深夜，创造出优雅而复杂的故事，就像精心编排的舞蹈一样。
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