UC申请倒计时!这篇保姆级写作指南拯救你的文书

进入11月,刚交完美国大学ED的你,是不是正在为UC申请做最后的冲刺?

不同于CA系统的主文书和补充文书UC系统每年会放出8道题,让你选4道来答,每题字数限制在350字以内。

UC将这些称为【个人洞察力问题】(Personal Insight Questions,简写PIQ),帮助UC招生官更好地了解你的方方面面。

今天老师特地准备了一份保姆级教程,以多篇优秀UC范文为切入点,全方位教大家如何破解UC的8道PIQ。

UC申请倒计时!不要慌,这篇保姆级写作指南拯救你的文书

第一题:领导力

Prompt1:

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helpedresolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

描述一个展现你领导力的例子。在过程中,你对他人产生了积极的影响,帮助解决了纠纷,或为团体的努力做出了贡献。

领导力是美国大学最为看重的品质之一,这也是为什么UC文书会把这道题放在第一位。

题目中列出了几个特质:积极影响他人、解决纠纷能力、团队贡献能力。只要你的经历具备这些特质,都可以作为这篇文书的素材。

Example Essay:

Ming Ji Restaurant

 

Since 5th grade, I have been my parents’ right hand at Ming Ji Restaurant in our hometown of Zacatecas, Mexico. Sometimes, they needed me to be the cashier, other times, a dishwasher or chef’s assistant in the kitchen, and eventually I was expected to interact with customers as the youngest waiter on staff.

As I developed more in this role, I became a keystone piece for the waiters. I taught them how to properly attend groups of unsatisfied customers and the fundamentals of customer service. Consequently, I acquired organizational habits and dialogued more fluently to resolve problems. I developed better strategies to speed up home-delivery and in restaurant service. Through this, I achieved not only a better rapport with my colleagues but also a more honest and enjoyable relation with my dad’s employees. It implanted a strong work ethic in me that reminds me of the hardworking farmers of my past generations.

I believe that to achieve efficiency and productivity in the working environment between employees and the manager, it requires not only the firmness and attention of a boss, but also the empathy and vision of a leader. These were the very qualities I developed as my dad’s assistant.

Working through the many facets of a small business has taught me the key role of small groups in a system, and I applied this beyond the walls of the restaurant. In school, you will see me managing and organizing one-on-one mediations with peer counselors, and at the same time, earning myself a leading position in my school’s British English Olympics team.

As a result of my years laboring for my family restaurant, you might think that I would like to become an entrepreneur. But in actuality, I picture myself as an engineer, as I believe both require the adaptability, perseverance, dedication, and strategy to succeed in this field.

分析

作者以一种非常规的方式定义了领导力。你不必成为学生会主席或非营利组织创始人才能展现领导力,在家庭中工作同样可以发挥领导作用。

TA分享了自己所学到的东西,描述他如何在其他地方应用这些经验。因此这篇PIQ不仅与餐厅有关,还与他的成长有关。

文章结尾作者还阐明自己将为UC带来哪些价值观、技能和品质,清晰的结构非常易于阅读。

第二题:创造力

Promp2:

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

每个人都有创造性的一面,它可以通过许多方式来表达:解决问题、原创和创新思维以及艺术表达等等。请描述你如何表达你创造性的一面。

美国大学一直致力于培养创新型人才。UC把这道题放在第二位,说明它想了解你的综合能力。

这篇的关键也在于定义创造力:你不一定要有伟大的发明、精彩的提案,才叫有创造力。它也可以是在生活中用简单独特的方式,去解决复杂的问题。

Example Essay:

Drumming

 

Some time during middle school, I began my journey to establish a rock band, become its drummer and, most importantly, grow magnificent long hair. I enrolled at a local music institute for drum classes twice a week. I didn’t have a drum-kit at home, so I’d eagerly wait for those two one-hour sessions of smashing cymbals and double-kicking bases every week. I was having a great time, but some part of me always felt that I was not exploring my musical creativity as much as I could.

Over the next few months, as I continued to develop my mastery of the drum-kit, percussion became a part of my everyday life and soon I could sense rhythmic patterns in ordinary sounds. When no drums were available, I’d start finger-tapping in synchronous rhythms on any rigid surface and, before long, finger-tapping became an integral part of my rhythmic intelligence.

Unlike drumming, finger-tapping allowed me to incorporate melody into standard grooves by tapping on surfaces that had varying degrees of hollowness. Since it was a percussion style that I instinctively developed by myself, finger-tapping gave me the artistic freedom to create something new.

But I didn’t want to shape my spontaneous finger-tapping artistry to master another percussion instrument like the Tabla or Maschine.

Therefore, I decided to invent my own instrument. Equipped with my expertise in robotics and coding, I used electronic items like piezoelectric sensors, pcbs, and transistors to build an instrument that reflected my own finger-tapping habits and patterns. It had ten small pads for my fingers and two large pads for my palms. I chose a raspberry-pi as its CPU and programmed it to play all kinds of melodies and beats. In this way, I learned how to coordinate my different talents and skills to amplify my total creative output.

My friends and family suggested that I name and advertise my invention and maybe sell it to a company. But if I did that, I would lose the essence of why I built it. I built it not to master its musical capacity but to develop my own musical creativity.

分析

文章第1段的结尾,作者便提出疑问设置悬念:TA应该如何更充分地表达自己的音乐创造力?本文剩下的部分将主要来回答这个问题。

为解决这一挑战,作者开始尝试在日常生活中打鼓,并决定发明自己的仪器。TA还使用了一些专业名词,例如“压电传感器、印刷电路板和晶体管”等,来向我们展示TA在电子方面的知识。

第三题:才能/技能

Prompt3:

What would you say is your greatesttalent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

你最突出的才能或技能是什么?一直以来,你是如何培养并展示这一才能或技能的?

不少同学答这道题时,喜欢用GPA和奖项来举例。还有学生喜欢用运动、艺术特长来举例,我们选题不一定要这么窄。

一些软技能比如沟通能力、研究能力、批判性思维、善于倾听、共情能力,都可以作为才能/技能来书写。

Example Essay:

Finding connections among the dissimilar

 

I’ve always strived to find connections among the dissimilar.

It started when I was a kid and my dad taught me Sudoku. As he explained the rules, those mysterious scaffoldings of numbers I often saw on his computer screen transformed into complex structures of logic built by strategy. Gradually, puzzles became a constant in my life. In elementary school, I began searching for patterns in the world around me: thin, dark clouds signaled rain, the moon changed shape every week, and the best snacks were the first to go. I wanted to know what unseen rules affected these things and how they worked. My parents, both pipeline engineers, encouraged this inquisitiveness and tried explaining how they solved puzzles in their own work. Their analytical mindsets helped me muddle through homework and optimize matches in Candy Crush.

In high school, I threw myself into all my classes and studied by linking concepts across subjects. Mathematical syntax transitioned easily to English grammar, and the catalysts for revolutions resembled isomers of the same element, nominally different with the same properties.

As I grew older, my interests expanded to include the delicate systems of biology, the complexity of animation, and the nuances of language. Despite these subjects’ apparent dissimilarity, each provides fascinating perspectives on the world with approaches like color theory and evolution. Unsurprisingly, my career aspirations changed every week: one day I wanted to be an illustrator, the next a biochemist, then a stand up comedian. But when I discovered computer science, something seemed to settle; I had finally found a field where I could be creative, explore a different type of language, and, yes, solve puzzles.

Best of all, I believe my superpower has helped me knit together my identity. Although my relatives’ rapid Mandarin escapes me, in them I recognize the same work ethic that fueled me through marching band practices and late nights. My multicultural friend group is linked by our diverse passions: k-pop, hockey, Hamilton. While to others my life may seem like a jumble of incompatible fragments, like a jigsaw puzzle, each piece connects to become something more.

分析

尽管作者选择了一种抽象的才能——寻找不同事物之间的联系,但TA列出了许多具体的例子,这些例子充分展示了作者善于联想的能力。

文章最后进行升华,作者强调这项超能力还帮助TA整合了自己的身份,同时也向招生官展示了一个更立体丰富的申请形象。

第四题:教育机会/障碍

Prompt4:

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced?

请描述你是如何利用重要的教育机会或努力克服你所面临的教育障碍的?

这道题和学术经历有关,体现了UC对学术的重视。你不妨通过这道题,来展现除标化和GPA以外的学术成就

Example Essay:

Construction

 

Five years ago I took up a job in construction from a couple of neighbors who needed help doing a demolition job on an old house. I saw this as an opportunity to help pay bills around the house as well as cover my own personal expenses. I did a good enough job that my neighbors told me that, if I wanted, I could continue working with them.

It has been a demanding job and I made numerous mistakes at first, like using the wrong tools for different tasks or the wrong size screw. On occasion, I was scolded for my mistakes and I felt incompetent, as I wasn’t able to complete tasks as fast as my co-workers. There were even days that I considered quitting, but I stuck with it.

Since then, I've built, repaired, and remodeled numerous homes for family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers. I’ve removed and replaced carpets; broken down walls as well as driveways; installed cabinets, lights, both wood and tile flooring; and painted room after room.

Working in construction has made me feel like a bigger part of society, because I’m shaping the buildings and offices my community uses. Although I don’t make the choices in design, my workmanship is reflected in every job I’ve done. Because of this, my most memorable projects are those that I’ve taken on by myself.

It has been a personally fulfilling experience—there’s just something about peeling away the last strip of tape off a new floor that’s indescribable—and getting to see hours of planning, preparation, and work come together is such a rewarding experience. The best part? Knowing that some family will get to enjoy my work.

But this is not what I will do the rest of my life.

There are other ways I can help cover my family’s expenses, and getting a degree is the next step. In fact, I have a feeling that would be an even more fulfilling journey.

分析

对于这个问题,许多同学会选择写一门课外课程或科研经历,而这位作者以一种非常规的方式定义“教育机会”——在建筑行业工作让TA学到了很多东西。

文章最后作者阐述虽然TA发现在建筑工作中很有价值,但TA希望有一天能从事一份更充实的工作。这表明了TA的雄心壮志,并帮助我们理解TA为什么想上大学。

第五题:最大的挑战

Prompt5:

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

描述你所遇到的最重大挑战。你是如何克服这一挑战的?这个挑战又是如何影响了你的学术表现?

这道题可写的素材有很多:原生家庭、学校社区、社会活动等等都是很好的灵感来源。

选题是其次,更重要的是写出这些挑战给你带来的影响:你如何应对挑战?收到了什么影响?从中学到什么?

Example Essay:

 

At six years old, I stood locked away in the restroom. My dad was being put under arrest for domestic abuse. He’d hurt my mom physically and mentally, and my brother Jose and I had shared the mental strain. It’s what had to be done.

For a few years the quality of our lives started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became part of our family. He paid attention to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me, but our prosperity was short-lived as my step dad’s chronic alcoholism became more recurrent. When I was eight, my younger brother Fernando’s birth complicated things even further. As my step-dad slipped away, Fernando’s care was left to Jose and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando, Jose put him to bed. We did what we had to do.

I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and myself.

Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I learned how to fix bikes, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls. I found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me.

I worked hard to earn straight A’s, I shattered my school’s 1ooM breaststroke record, and I learned to play the oboe. I tutored kids, teens, and adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus. As the captain of the water polo and swim team I’ve led practices, and I became the first student in my school to pass the AP Physics 1 exam.

I’ve done tons, and I'm proud of it.

But I’m excited to say there’s so much I have yet to do. I haven’t danced the tango, solved a Rubix Cube, or seen the World Trade Center. And I have yet to see how Fernando will grow.

I’ll do as much as I can from now on. Not because I have to.

Because I choose to.

分析

文章开头作者明确提出了原生家庭给TA带来的挑战,接着很快作者意识到要做出改变,并采取了一系列的措施。

这些细节帮助我们看到了作者身上一些难能可贵的品质,包括责任、勤奋、足智多谋、幽默、独立、帮助他人、领导力等等。

第六题:学术学科

Prompt6 :

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

思考一门激励你的学科,并且描述你是如何在课内/课外探索这个学科兴趣的?

这是一道非常值得写的文书题,因为招生官能从中看出你的学科素养。如果你决定写这道题,最好选一门自己热爱的科目,以展示对学科的热情

Example Essay:

History

 

Through books like Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl about his incarceration at Auschwitz and documentaries like Enemies of the People about the Khmer Rouge, history has taught me that human empathy knows no borders.

My favorite “history nerd” moments occur when I can explain a modern socio-political phenomenon by drawing connections to a historical event, like tying the gender pay gap to the Neolithic Revolution and linking recent voting patterns to centuries of de jure/de facto racism. For my IB Extended Essay, I am writing about the Second Amendment, and I hope to elucidate the current gun control debate with research surrounding the legacy of the Glorious Revolution.

My passion for history led me to an internship at the Sejong Institute, a think-tank specializing in Korean diplomacy. While I translated Korean research publications on topics like denuclearizing North Korea and resolving the South China Sea disputes, I drew heavily from what I learned of the region’s past, coming to understand that international conflicts cannot be resolved in the absence of historical insight.

This notion also applies to my participation in Model UN. Exploring the ramifications of historical events has helped me create more comprehensive solutions; learning about the often-controversial past actions of nations has prompted me to raise ethical questions. For instance, I was appalled to learn that the Kurdish crisis, Syrian Civil War, and ISIL could be traced to the Sykes-Picot agreement, which carved up the region into ‘spheres of influence’ in 1916. In resolving these conflicts, how do we balance national sovereignty with the responsibility of former colonial powers to stabilize the region?

This summer, I enrolled in “Introduction to Sociocultural Anthropology” at UC Irvine. From tracing the African exodus of Homo erectus two million years ago to examining La Bestia (Mexican freight trains used by US-bound migrants), I now understand that migration is as old as history itself.

In college, I hope to continue drawing connections between history and contemporary geopolitics as a Political Science major. Eventually, I hope to become a civil rights attorney, and the first Asian woman on the Supreme Court.

分析

文章开头作者立即阐明了最感兴趣的学科:历史。随后,作者列举了各种在校内校外探索这一学科的方式,比如IB论文、实习、夏校、模联等。

整篇文章结构清晰,充分展现了作者对历史的热情。

第七题:学校/社区服务

Prompt7:

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

你对你的学校或者你所在的群体做出了什么贡献,使它变得更好了?

UC对于社区服务的重视不容小觑,它希望自己录的学生不仅有很强的学术成就,还不忘回馈社会、关心他人。

Example Essay:

Earthquakes

 

Last year, nearly 600 earthquakes hit my hometown of Reno in a ‘swarm’. Although the magnitudes of these quakes ranged from 2.5 to 3.7, the constant fear and anxiety of impending doom rose in the community. A disaster is unprecedented and unpredictable and, in our community, we always acknowledged their occurrence elsewhere but never fully admitted that a large-scale catastrophe may happen at our doorsteps.

Recognizing this unspoken apathy, I decided to take a step beyond my school club and get involved in the community chapter of the Reno Red Cross Disaster Cycle Services team. As I was learning the basics of preparedness i.e., general earthquake and fire safety drills, I realized that if disaster were to strike, the majority of people in my community could not confidently say that they are prepared. As part of the DCS committee, it is my goal to increase the confidence of as many youth and families as possible.

During my training, I accompanied volunteers during the Home Fire Preparedness Campaign, where we installed and updated smoke alarms and detectors in over thirty low income households in the Reno area, free of charge. I began teaching the “Pillowcase Project” in local elementary schools, leading workshops in and instilling the importance of disaster preparedness for the youngest of children.

Representing DCS on the Youth Executive Board for our local chapter, I also led a Youth in Disaster Services Seminar, where we trained young adults in CPR Certification as well as basic Shelter Fundamentals.

Through my work with the Red Cross, and in my interactions with survivors and rescuers who assisted during Hurricane Katrina, I’ve come to discover how teaching even just small preparedness procedures to individuals can help save entire communities.

The impact of disaster services reverberates throughout our communities, both at home and internationally. It is a selfless, necessary job in which youth, as the future generation of an ever-changing disaster prone world, must take urgent action.

分析

作者一开始就明确提出社区正在面临的挑战:地震,并说明意外随时都可能发生在我们身边,来提高读者的警惕。

接着开始阐述自己为预防突发意外所做的一系列措施,比如防火演习、安装烟雾警报器等等,充分展示了作者对于社区安全问题的重视。

第八题:有力的竞争者

Prompt8:

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

除了在申请中已经展现的内容,请描述一下为什么你觉得自己是有力的竞争者?

这道题有点像Common App中的“topic of your choice”(自主选题)。

如果你有想跟UC系学校介绍的东西,但不确定它是否适用于其他题目,这就是你展示自己的舞台!

【竞赛报名/项目咨询请加微信:mollywei007】

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