什么是死亡?
从心理学角度,死亡,是每个人的人生最大最完全的丧失,属于对人格自我最为强大、最后不可回避的毁灭冲击性心理威胁和内部应激原刺激。死亡具有生物性、心理性和社会性三大内容和过程。从系统观点看,人的心理属性的死亡,是对生物属性和社会属性两种先后关联的死亡过程的,整体中介和终结的信息处理过程。
From the psychological point of view, death is the biggest and most complete loss of everyone's life, which belongs to the most powerful and inevitable psychological threat of destruction and internal stressor stimulation to the personality and self. Death has three major contents and processes: biological, psychological and social. From a systematic point of view, the death of human's psychological attribute is the information processing process of the overall intermediary and termination of the death process which is successively related to biological attribute and social attribute.
对于所有具备基本健全的自我觉察意识功能的人来说,“我”就要告别人世——死亡,绝对是感受最大伤害的事情。
FOR ANYONE WITH A FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND FUNCTION OF SELF-AWARENESS, THE COMING OF DEATH OF "ME" IS DEFINITELY THE THING THAT HURTS THE MOST.
死亡的新生
丧失了旧的,迎来了新的;新陈代谢、生死交替。前者是个体生命的发展,后者是个体生命的终结,都是人类生命自然表现的基本形式。
换句话说,有生就有死,有死就有生;没有旧生命活动的终结,就难有新生命生存发展继续前进的坦途,就没有人类整体生存发展的空间和道路。
一言以蔽之:人面对的每一次丧失,都是心理成长和功能扩展的一次新机遇。
Lost the old, ushered in the new; Metabolism, life and death alternates. The former is the development of individual life, and the latter is the end of individual life, both of which are the basic forms of human life.
In other words, where there is life, there is death, and where there is death, there is life; Without the end of the old life activities, there will be no smooth path for the survival and development of new life, and there will be no space and road for the overall survival and development of mankind.
In short: every loss a person faces is a new opportunity for psychological growth and functional expansion.
死亡的影响
死亡不仅意味身体毁灭、生命终结和社会关系发展进程的中断;也是每一个死者的生物、心理和社会属性,这3个人性功能结构部分的共同、却并不同步进行的终结;是对一个人的生存意义、价值和尊严的全面彻底清算(清理、结算)与评估。
因此,一方面,对于任何一个死者,死亡的3种个体属性的功能作用,大多数是接近同步结束的;面对死亡,尤其是面对突然意外的死亡,几乎是每个濒死者所最难接纳、而又不能不接纳的现实。但是,另一方面,对于死者的在世亲友,对于受到死者生前心理行为相关影响的人们来说,死者的生命结束,并不等于他(她)的心理和社会属性影响作用的结束,而往往会在相关人们所保持信息记忆的范围和深度上,持续相当一段时期,甚至会很久很久。
Death means not only the destruction of the body, the end of life and the interruption of the development process of social relations; The biological, psychological, and social attributes of each deceased person, the end of a common, but not synchronous, part of the sexual structure of these three individuals; It is a comprehensive and thorough liquidation (clearing, settlement) and assessment of the meaning, value and dignity of a person's existence.
Therefore, on the one hand, for any one deceased, most of the functions of the three individual attributes of death are close to the synchronous end; Facing death, especially sudden and unexpected death, is the most difficult and unavoidable reality for almost every dying person. But, on the other hand, for the living of the dead relatives and friends, for the people affected by the deceased mental behavior related to the life of the dead end, doesn't mean he (she) and at the end of the psychological and social impact properties, and tend to be in the related people to keep on the scope and depth of information memory, for quite some time, even for a long, long time.
死亡的心理场景
在心理学本质上,各种灾难性事件和疾病造成身体或/与心理残疾的问题,是和死亡同样性质而相对轻度的丧失,分析、解决问题的方法和过程也是一样的,虽然前者比后者的影响力和解决难度会小一些,心理咨询辅导所花费的时间可能短一些。
理想中,许多人期望自己的临终场景,是躺在熟悉的家中床上,周围是至爱亲朋好友,一个个平静地互相告别分手,似乎即将远途旅行,自己无疾而终,没有痛苦。可是,这毕竟是极少数人才有可能实现的美好场景,是大多数人可望而不可及的梦境。
In psychology, in essence, all sorts of catastrophic events and disease problems, causing physical or/and mental disability, and death is the same nature and relatively mild loss, analysis, problem solving method and the process is the same, although the former influence and solve the difficulty will be smaller than the latter, the time spent by psychological counseling may be shorter.
Ideally, many people expect their final scenes to be lying on a familiar bed at home, surrounded by loved ones, quietly saying goodbye to each other, as if they were about to take a long journey and die painlessly. However, this is after all a very few people are possible to achieve a beautiful scene, is the majority of people cannot reach the dream.
死亡教育
不同的求助对象,具有不同的看待死亡和濒死过程的态度和言行,具有不同的终结和清算死亡的方式、内容、目的。但是,必然有一个心理共同点,那就是:无论是濒死者或相关人士,每一个人如何从自己的父母、儿童和成人3个自我状态出发,在人性的生物、心理和社会功能结构3方面,分别对死亡全过程,对生者和死者(或临终者)之间的情感恩怨和信息交流,有效地清理、结算各种经验教训;都需要学会,如何为死者提供适当“盖棺论定”的评估和尊严,为生者(包括自己和其他相关生存者)开拓继续生存的新动机和方向,完成每个人终生心理发展的不同阶段任务和目标。
这就是对求助者实施死亡(临终)心理咨询辅导的,基本起点和分析处理框架。
Different objects for help have different attitudes, words and deeds towards the process of death and dying, and different ways, contents and purposes of ending and liquidating death. However, there must be a psychological common denominator, and that is: Whether a dying person or relevant personage, how each and every one from his own parents, children and adults three ego state, in the biological, psychological and social functions of human nature structure three aspects, the whole process of death, to the living and the dead or dying feud between emotions and information exchange, clearing, settlement effectively various experience and lessons; We all need to learn how to provide the deceased with proper "closed coffin" assessment and dignity, to develop new motives and directions for the living (including ourselves and other relevant survivors) to continue living, and to accomplish the tasks and goals at different stages of each person's lifelong psychological development.
This is the implementation of death (terminal) psychological counseling, the basic starting point and analysis of the framework.
能否与如何坦然面对死亡,这是需要我们每个人学会识别处理的,各种相关身体和/或精神痛苦临终磨难的,人生最后一课。
Whether or not and how to be comfortable in the face of death, this is the final life lesson that each of us needs to learn to recognize and deal with the various kinds of physical and/or mental pain associated with the end of life.