获得哈佛、耶鲁、MIT录取的文书 竟没有高级的人生观和深刻的价值观?

今天这篇文书的作者是一个平时演奏乐器和打美式足球的数学爱好者。相信很多人都有类似背景。但与众不同的是,这篇文书中他并没有讲自己多么擅长贝斯,也没有说体育对自己多么重要,而是老老实实、细节满满、不厌其烦的给读者描述音乐和足球中的数学

然后,这篇文书句子很长,段落很长。它可能违背了我们从任何写作指南和文书顾问那里得到的写作技巧。可以看出学生喜欢写长句子,这就是他的风格。虽然冗长可能让读者费力,但他还是坚持了自己认为酷的事情,就像他总在玩音乐和足球时想数学一样

最后,这篇文书最不寻常的是——它没有高级的人生观和深刻的价值观。

作为多年的文书顾问,我也不知何时,高级的人生观和深刻的价值观,就成了优秀文书的标配

每每读到哈佛年年更新的十篇录取文书、常青藤文书、各路大神的例文时,我都赞叹学生的优秀,小小年纪,就能够在挫折中有了成长的顿悟和人生的理解,就能够去关心并反思社会问题,并从自身的背景和经历自然的过度到对普世价值的深刻理解。

但真的所有成功文书都这样吗?还是商业运作,虚荣心作祟,或者“卷“得太厉害的后果?不得而知。反正连哈佛在每年分享十篇录取文书时,都同时在给指导机构留位置打广告了。

所以,当招生官说be authentic, be yourself时,也许大部分人都认为是套话大于实际。也许,对于很多同学来说,忠于自己的文书不是写不出来,而是不敢。那么,希望这篇例文给你信心。

以下是例文及翻译:

I think about the converging waves of the notes I play, the standing waves being created by plucking a string, and the physics behind the air pockets being forged that eventually find a listening ear whenever I sit down to play my bass. Thus, my passions of math and music synergistically become more together than they could ever be apart. I started thinking about this when a former math teacher of mine approached me one afternoon and asked me if I was interested in giving the induction speech at the Mu Alpha Theta induction ceremony. Being a member of the honor society and recounting the memorable induction speech given the year prior at my own induction, I wholeheartedly agreed. I decided on the topic of music and math because I play upright bass in the orchestra and electric bass in the jazz ensemble and being a math enthusiast, it is impossible for me not to see the mathematics and physics present in music.

每当我坐下来演奏贝斯时,我就想到我弹奏音符组成的收敛波,拨动琴弦产生的驻波,以及形成的气穴背后的物理原理,最终都会找到一只倾听的耳朵。这样,我对数学和音乐的热情比它们分开时更加紧密地结合在一起。一天下午,我以前的数学老师找到我,问我是否有兴趣在Mu Alpha Theta的入会典礼上发表入会演讲,我便开始思考这个问题。作为荣誉学会的一员,再回想一年前自己入校典礼上那场令人难忘的演讲,我完全同意。我之所以选择音乐和数学这个主题,是因为我在管弦乐队演奏立式贝斯,在爵士乐团演奏电贝斯,而且我是一个数学爱好者,我不可能看不到音乐中存在的数学和物理。

At music’s core, math is present in the tempo and rhythm of a piece, with the time signature being represented as a fraction and the tempo being represented by a numerical value in beats per minute. The relationship between the two gets even more intriguing when applied to actual notes being played. The best sounding music is that which uses flawless mathematics. It is common knowledge that each note has a letter name—A through G—but also has a number value, measured in hertz. An A4 for instance is 440 hertz. In Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata,” there exist triads in triplet form. These triads are made up of D, F#, and A. Since sound is a vibrational energy, notes can be graphed as sine functions. When the triad notes are graphed, they intersect at their starting point and at the point 0.042. At this point the D has gone through two full cycles, the F# two and a half, and the A three. This results in consonance, something that sounds naturally pleasant to the ear. Thinking about this opened my eyes to all the aspects of my life with which I utilize math to enhance.

在音乐的核心,数学存在于一个作品的节奏和韵律中,节拍记号被表示为分数,节奏被表示为每分钟拍数的数值。当应用于实际演奏的音符时,两者之间的关系变得更加有趣。最动听的音乐运用了完美的数学。众所周知,每个音符都有一个字母——从A到G——但也有一个数值,以赫兹为单位。比如A4的频率是440赫兹。在贝多芬的《月光奏鸣曲》中,以三连音的形式存在着三和弦。这些三和弦由D、F#和A组成。因为声音是一种振动能量,音符可以用正弦函数来表示。当画出三和弦时,它们在起点和点0.042处相交。在这一点上,D已经经历了两个完整的周期,F#两个半,以及A三个。这就产生了谐音,一种听起来自然悦耳的声音。思考这个问题让我大开眼界,我利用数学来改善我生活的各个方面。

There is also an incredible amount of unseen math present in football. At 5 foot 10 inches and 160 pounds with pads on, I fall short of the average player at my position who is usually at least 6 feet tall and well over 200 pounds, so applying math to football is intellectually stimulating, but is more importantly a survival mechanism. When I have to go up against an opponent who is over twice my size and looks like he eats freshmen for lunch, brute force is not on my side and it helps having equations for momentum and attack angle running through my head. Math not only helps me survive, but also thrive. As an opponent running back is darting down the sideline with seemingly cheetah-like speed, I can trust that my angles and velocity will allow me to make the play and possibly save a game-changing touchdown. Or when a ball is sailing through the air caught in the stadium lights, I can picture a projectile motion problem with constant acceleration downward and a near constant velocity in the x-direction, and know that I have a leg up on the player next to me who does not think about it the way I do. When I look at aspects of my life in a math context, they make more sense and make things that I love even better and more enjoyable.

足球中也存在着大量看不见的数学。戴上肩垫后,我身高5英尺10英寸,体重160磅,与我所在位置,通常至少为6英尺,体重超过200磅的普通球员相比,并未达到预期,所以把数学应用到足球中不仅是一种智力刺激,更是一种生存机制。当我不得不面对一个比我大一倍以上、看起来像是把新生当午餐吃的对手时,蛮力并不站在我这一边,而我脑海中浮现出的动量和攻角的方程式却有帮助。数学不仅帮助我生存,也帮助我茁壮成长。当对手的跑卫以猎豹般的速度冲向边线时,我可以相信我的角度和速度会让我发挥作用,甚至可能挽救一个改变比赛的触地得分。或者当一个球在体育场的灯光下飞行时,我可以把它想成一个向下有恒定加速度,在x方向上有接近恒定速度的抛射运动问题,然后我知道我比旁边不会像我那样思考的球员有优势。当我在数学的背景下看待我生活的方方面面时,它们变得更有意义,并让我喜欢的事情变得更好、更愉快。

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获得哈佛、耶鲁、MIT录取的文书 竟没有高级的人生观和深刻的价值观?
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